(Sequel to Needs More Sparkly Pens. Stiles finds his notebook in his room and oh holy god.)(ao3)
Slightly NSFW for throbbing.
“What,” Stiles said.
I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in a very long time. A very long time. This is just fuckin amazing, I can’t even.
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finished and sent! xD got another one on the way soon!
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I had an idea for a big dumb mythology/folklore AU, though this looks more fantasy RPG because every outfit I thought of that made me think PANTHEON!! wasn’t at all functional? Pfft, who wants to go on adventures in robes? Not me. And not Stiles. He’d probably trip all over them.
The story is that Derek is essentially Fenrir. His family were all wolves that shed their pelts (faolfir /cackles) and the gods were terrified of them because they were the only things that could kill them, to death. They couldn’t kill them all because it would just invite the cycle to start again, but Kate, a goddess of passion (but not love), took it upon herself to deal with the “problem.” She seduced Derek and locked him away, and to make sure he wouldn’t escape, she took his pelt and shredded it. The rest of the Hales were killed, save for Laura (who had been away, looking for Derek) and Peter (but his pelt was destroyed in the fire). The pieces of Derek’s pelt are scattered and those who find them become the first werewolves.
And then some millenia later, some dumb trickster demigod dragged his mortal friend to go exploring some caves and they found Derek, and thinking he was just some poor dude, they let him go. He
threatenedconvinced them to help him find the pieces of his pelt. Derek immediately regrets this decision.Also letting Derek out may or may not have kickstarted the in-universe ragnarok. Whoops. GOOD JOB, GUYS.
I thought about this AU way too much and I now have a ridiculously large headcanon for it, and I’m probably going to draw more dumb things just so I can rant more. Sorry fkjsdhkfje
(Also the runes on Stiles are from Hávamál, in Ljóðatal, which I copied down into Younger Futhark/Medieval runes for this because I clearly hate myself)
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gym, tan, lycanthropy – teen wolf meets the jersey shore
snooki: i’m a fucking good person!
i’ve never seen Jersey Shore but this was hilarious
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So.
Scott and Stiles show up at Derek’s wearing these really ugly Christmas sweaters. Scott’s has a dorky Rudolph on it. There are puffs of tinsel woven in and the nose lights up. And Stiles’s is covered in blobular Christmas elves with red cheeks climbing all over it. They also have a fancy Christmas bag with puffs of red tissue coming out of it.
“What are you wearing,” Derek asks.
“Sweaters?” Scott says, eyebrows scrunching up because, haha, duh.
“Enough about us,” Stiles interrupts and shoves the fancy bag at Derek’s chest. ”We have a Christmas present for you.”
He’s kind of touched for all of four seconds before opens the bag. ”You bought me a sweater.” It definitely sounds like an accusation.
“Excuse you, Scott made you a sweater. Scott worked his little crocheting paws off to turn those ugly kittens into wolves. And dead trees, they’re like your favorite. God, Derek, can’t you be grateful for the effort he put into this very precious gift.”
And then Scott makes hopeful puppy eyes and Stiles glares a perfect ‘hurt his feelings and I will end you’ face and so Derek sighs and puts it on and thinks about how hideous is.
Then Stiles takes a quick photo on his phone and Erica walks in and squawks out a laugh and Stiles is like “I TOLD YOU WE COULD GET HIM TO PUT IT ON” and Scott is grinning and Derek wonders how his life became this. Fucking teen wolfs.
I think I may just need this sweater in my actual life.
# TOTALLY NOT GOING TO GO TO ANY CRAFT STORES AND MAKING UGLY TW HOLIDAY SWEATERS# NOPE# NOT HAPPENING… MAYBE HAPP..
Just so you know, for your not-making-it-sweater purposes, there is a decrepit house and a dead deer on the back w/ more happy wolfs…
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Hey Miguel, I thought I told you you could borrow one of my shirts.
watching the way he closes that book makes me imagine Derek doing everything in his daily life like he’s half an inch away from committing a homicide.
i bet the people who work the drive-thru at McDonald’s just toss his food into the car and slam the window shut when he pulls up. they don’t even want his money.
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I was joking with somebody recently about how funny it would be if Stiles finally did get a superpower, but he was really cynical about it because he was Frog Man, or something. He did have a superpower because he could leap and jump really high, long and far, but it was essentially useless and embarrassing.
- Dylan O’Brien (x)
Oooohh, Muppet!Sterek AU: I could totally see a kermit!Stiles…However, would that mean a misspiggy!Derek…? -
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let me just casually jump down these steps instead of…using them like steps.
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Matt: I need answers!
Scott: Answers for what?
Matt: For this.
The contrast of Stiles’ eye-bugging and Derek’s tiny little eyebrow twitch and them just STUCK THERE was one of those moments in this episode I GUFFAWED in that sort of hysterical way you do when you’re too tense and you can’t deal and the funny things are EXTRA FUNNY because omg I’m gonna bawl.
THAT IS DEREK’S SHOCKED EXPRESSION OKAY
HE IS VERY VERY SHOCKED
LOL
THEIR CONTRAST IS LIKE THE CONTRAST BETWEEN NORMAL PEOPLE’S AND TUMBLR PEOPLE’S REACTIONS TO THINGS LIKE
KNOTTING
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
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![yiq:
i really need to get this shit out of my system so
stiles n his big furry / _ \](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7hnp1qMMD1qc43qho1_500.png "yiq:
i really need to get this shit out of my system so
stiles n his big furry / _ \")
yiq:
i really need to get this shit out of my system so
stiles n his big furry / _ \
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